


It’s Practically Cannibalism

by Amyused, Omicheese



Category: Tennis no Oujisama | Prince of Tennis
Genre: Corrupting underclassmen, Hickeys, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Locker Room, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 02:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2174781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amyused/pseuds/Amyused, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omicheese/pseuds/Omicheese
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three people's POVs, one locker room, and hickeys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Kintarou

**Author's Note:**

> A collaboration fanfic between my sister and me (the Paula half of Amyused). She wrote Kintarou and Chitose's POV and I wrote Zaizen's. This is part of a joint effort between the two of us to get more Shitenhouji fic out there! Also, beware of unreliable narrators and Kin-chan logic.

Kintarou was changing in the locker hall for tennis practice, because tennis was the best time of the day every day. He generally didn’t pay attention to other people changing in the locker room, because he’d heard that you could get scabies doing that, and he sure didn’t want scabies, so he kept his eyes to himself. He’d heard that scabies would make your skin peal off all in one piece and make your hair fall out and you could never play tennis again! No thank you!

Zaizen showed up to the locker hall a little later. He wasn’t exactly late, there was still time to change and everything, but wasn’t he usually a little earlier? Oh well, it was none of Kintarou’s business. Kenya had been kinda late too, it happened sometimes. Kintarou had already finished changing, and now it was time to play some tennis! But on his way out he heard Koharu talking to Zaizen, something like what were all those _marks_ on Zaizen’s neck? And that just caught his attention, so he _had_ to go look over, since people talked about stuff in the locker hall all the time, but _this_ was people he _knew_.

“ _Those_ ,” Hitoji was checking out Zaizen’s neck now and making a weird face, with his eyebrows pulled up really high and his mouth pulled down really low and his eyes really open, “are _hickeys_.” It was like Hitoji was a doctor and he was diagnosing a disease! Could he do impressions of doctors, too? That was so cool!

“What are hickeys?” They looked really surprised to see him there, Zaizen mostly, which is kinda funny, since people usually seemed to know when Kintarou was around, like they could hear him coming or smell him or something. Koharu and Hitoji looked at each other for a second and started laughing, though, so they didn’t tell him what hickeys were. Zaizen looked all uncomfortable and was rubbing his neck with his hand and didn’t say anything. He asked them again a little louder, since that usually worked, but this time all it did was make Koharu and Hitoji laugh harder and then Zaizen just turned a funky color. And now other people in the locker room were starting to turn around and he thought he could maybe hear people giggling—but seriously, what were hickeys? If they were anything like scabies, he figured he ought to know!

“They’re cannibal bites.” Chitose was over where they were now, nodding, and his face was perfectly serious. Cannibals. Cannibals? In _Japan_?! _Zaizen was attacked by cannibals!?_ “Yup.” How could Chitose be so calm and smiley when there were _cannibals_ on the loose? Then again, it was Chitose, and he can see the future, so he probably knew they were coming, but still! CANNIBALS! “Probably had to fight tooth and nail and still only barely got away. Something like that, Zaizen?” _Whoa_. How hard must it be to fight off _cannibals_? Zaizen was a _really_ funky color now—what if cannibal bites made people sick, and he was getting a fever or something? What if he couldn’t play tennis today? That would suck!

“ _What_ is going on here?” Shiraishi was here, and he didn’t really look happy, probably because everybody was sitting in the locker hall instead of playing tennis—Shiraishi should know about the cannibals! _He_ could do something about them!

“Somebody tried to _eat_ Zaizen!” Shiraishi’s face kind of went blank for a second and his mouth hung open a little. It kind of did that sometimes, pretty much whenever Kintarou said anything important. “He got attacked by _cannibals_ , Shiraishi! Cannibals are _invading Japan_!” Chitose must have told Shiraishi about the cannibals in advance or something, though, since Shiraishi just rolled his eyes and shook his head and smiled and said that cannibals were _not_ invading Japan, since there was no way they’d get through customs. And he made everybody get out of the locker hall.

Well, Shiraishi was always right, so the cannibals must not be invading after all. If Shiraishi said they couldn’t get through customs, then they probably couldn’t. Customs must be really _strong_ , to fight off hordes of cannibals! Did customs play tennis? But that still left the cannibals. They’d have to have found another way to attack Zaizen, then, since Zaizen was definitely bitten by cannibals. He had the marks to prove it. But wait—that meant that the cannibals must _already be in Japan_! That was the only way they could get past those customs thingies! But that meant they could be anywhere! Or _anybody_!

And suddenly Kintarou knew. That explained _everything_. “Kenya’s a _cannibal_!?"

Everybody was looking at Kintarou now, either at Kintarou or at Kenya. It made sense that they were freaked out. A _cannibal_ right under their noses and nobody noticed! Kenya looked a little spooked too, probably because he’d been found out, and then he _laughed_ , and that just _confirmed_ it! Kintarou backed up about as far from him as he could without falling down. “So _that’s_ why you were hanging around Zaizen all the time! I thought you were just _friends_ —I didn’t know you wanted him for _food_!”

“Oh, you got me.” Not even apologetic about it! He looked over at Zaizen like he was going to try and attack him again, and Zaizen turned an even _funkier_ color. But then Zaizen just shrugged and said there was nothing he could do about it! What happened to fighting tooth and nail? Did he want to get _eaten_? It didn’t make any sense!

Shiraishi made them all run laps after that.


	2. Chitose

“Why, _Zaizen_! What on _earth_ are those _marks_ on your neck?”

_That_ got Chitose’s attention, as well as that of quite a few other people. It was probably what Konjiki was going for. Chitose had been zoning out while tying his shoes, just chilling until practice started, but the noise pulled him back into reality. He didn’t really mind, though; it sounded funny.

“ _Those_ are hickeys,” he could hear Hitoji declare, and he sounded quite amused. And Hitoji would know. Chitose couldn’t see Zaizen that well from where he was sitting, but the kid probably wished he was _anywhere_ but here. Almost felt bad for him, considering Zaizen probably had the lowest tease tolerance out of anybody on the team.

“What are hickeys?”

The view was just _too_ fuzzy from here. That was _definitely_ Kintarou, and it sounded like this was about to get a whole lot funnier. What else could Chitose do but relocate? Getting closer, he could now see Zaizen blushing like a light bulb with the Idiot Pair nearly dying laughing, and Kintarou standing there with absolutely no idea what was so hilarious.

“What are hickeys?” he demanded again, stamping his foot. No one looked ready to answer him, even though the entire tennis club had to be watching him by now, and he looked like was going to pop if he didn’t get an explanation. How was a person supposed to explain hickeys to a kid that wouldn’t know sex if it was happening to him? The itch to intervene was just too strong to deny.

“They’re cannibal bites,” Chitose offered, and he could immediately tell from Kintarou’s face that it was a good idea. He almost didn’t think eyes could get that wide. And he wasn’t lying too much. It was _practically_ cannibalism, it was just wasn’t for sustenance. And it was consensual. Wouldn’t help much to try explaining that sort of thing to Kintarou, though—he wouldn’t get it.

“Zaizen got attacked by _cannibals_?!” It was hard to tell whether Kintarou looked excited or scared.

“Yup,” he replied, doing all he could to keep a straight face. Or at least sort of a straight one. Good thing Kintarou wasn’t good at picking up on subtleties. “Probably had to fight tooth and nail and still barely got away.” Well, at least if they were doing it right, Zaizen and whoever he had been snogging on. No point in trying to hide the smirk anymore, really. “Something like that, Zaizen?”

Ooh, if looks could kill, Chitose would _so_ be dead by now. Such a harsh glare for such a young tennis player. The effect was sort of ruined by how violently pink Zaizen was blushing, though.

Oh, right, they were supposed to be getting ready for tennis practice, weren’t they? Time sure flies when you’re having fun. And that would explain why Shiraishi was standing there in the doorway with that look on his face. “ _What_ ,” he asked in that captain-y way that seemed to imply impeding doom, “is going on here?”

Bless Kintarou for not recognizing danger. “Somebody tried to _eat_ Zaizen!” And bless him again for saying stuff like that. The look on Shiraishi’s face was priceless. Kintarou didn’t seem to realize it was funny, though, so he just kept going. “He got attacked by _cannibals_ , Shiraishi! Cannibals are _invading Japan_!” He actually looked pretty psyched about it, which didn’t _feel_ like an appropriate reaction to a cannibal invasion, but it was Kintarou. Practically vibrating on the spot.

_And_ Shiraishi’s eyes immediately land on him. Did Chitose just look guilty, or was this a coincidence? He had figured the blame would fall on Oshitari or one of the Idiot Pair before it got to him. He usually wasn’t the one to stir things up. Then again, it was usually just more fun to watch. But no, a perfectly trimmed eyebrow raised as accusingly as possible made it pretty clear that Shiraishi knew what was going on. Figures. He considered for a second or so whether or not Shiraishi could possibly read minds, but that sounded like something Kintarou would come up with. Sure would be interesting, though. Think of all the things a mind reader could do, especially if he played tennis.

Oh, right. Tennis. That they still weren’t actually practicing yet.

Shiraishi was busy explaining something about cannibals to Kintarou, which gave Chitose a chance to actually finish tying his shoe. Silly shoes with laces. By the time he looked up again, though, Shiraishi had returned his attention to the tennis team at large, and had his authoritative captain face back on. “…I fail to see the reason why everyone’s still holed up inside. Out!”

Hey, sweet, he wasn’t in trouble yet. Chitose shuffled out of the locker hall toward the courts with everybody else.

“Chitose.”

He knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Sighing, he sidled back to where Shiraishi stood, arms folded. “Yeah?”

“What, exactly, was that all about?”

Eh, he’d figured an explanation was in order, but he’d hoped he wouldn’t have to be the guy to give it. For some reason, Chitose’s explanations never seemed to make sense to anybody but himself. But, buchou’s orders. “Zaizen got himself some love bites.” He shrugged. The kid’s business was the kid’s business. “So the Idiot Pair were nagging on him.”

Apparently that explanation didn’t cut it, since Shiraishi was still making that face. Funny, he thought he’d done a pretty good job this time. Not too much to explain, right? “That doesn’t explain what cannibalism had to do with any of it.”

“Oh, right.” _That_ was it. “That was me. Yeah.” He’d almost completely forgotten about the cannibals by this point. Huh. Chitose scratched his head, trying to figure out the best way to rationalize where the hell that came from. This is why he sucked at explanations. It definitely made sense at the time, he was sure of that. He shrugged again. “Well, you know how much fun it is to tell Kintarou stuff.”

Couldn’t argue with that one. If there was anything Chitose could rely on, it was that soft spot Shiraishi had for ‘Kin-chan’. That and that his gym clothes would always be folded exactly right every day. As expected, Shiraishi just sighed and shook his head and let it drop. Well, let that much drop. Still had to go to practice. Obviously. Tennis club, after all.

“Kenya’s a _cannibal_!?”

_Whoa_ , attention gotten. Did he really just hear that? He ran over to get a better look, and sure enough, there was Kintarou, looking _horrified_ , pointing directly at Oshitari. Oshitari, for his part, didn’t look like he cared, but Zaizen looked like he might spontaneously combust. There went that secret, then. Huh. Maybe it was true what they said about good doubles pairs.

Oshitari sure did a thorough job of it, though, didn’t he. Those hickeys were pretty purple, what Chitose had seen of them. Oshitari always complained about his cousin the whore, but he might be talented enough in that department himself. One never knew. Well, Zaizen would, apparently.

Shiraishi had to come break up the party again, but during the dispersal Chitose made sure to throw a thumbs up and a “Nice,” Oshitari’s way. Oshitari grinned like he was proud of it. Well, he ought to be.

And then they all had to run laps.


	3. Zaizen

Zaizen found himself rubbing at his neck again as he adjusted his tennis uniform polo. More specifically, the area around his collar. He frowned a little bit at the slight ache that presented itself when his fingers touched the edge of his bruise. His hickey. Okay, _one_ of his hickeys.

Zaizen sighed. He felt it was the sort of situation where he should be actively annoyed at the culprit behind the aforementioned hickeys, but he wasn't. There wasn't much he could do about his senpai's actions now, anyway, and he was over it. Though that didn't mean he wasn't planning on telling Kenya about all the inconveniences their movie night had ended up putting him through that day. Once they were on the court and further away from other team members, anyway.

Honestly, why did he let his senpai get away with doing these sorts of things? Now Zaizen had to deal with a twinging neck and the giggles and snide remarks from his classmates when they caught sight of the marks whenever his school uniform shirt went askew. Plus, he really doubted that he was going to manage to escape any teasing from the rest of the club, either, now that it was practice time.

Oh well, couldn't be helped.

Already finished with changing and anxious to move away from the changing area and just get out to the courts, Zaizen reached down to pick up his racket on the bench.

“Why, _Zaizen_! What on _earth_ are those _marks_ on your neck?” the less-than-dulcet tones of Konjiki-senpai cooed into his ear as he felt his racket arm tugged on. Oh crap, he hadn't taken enough care to keep his collar up while stretching his left arm. And he just had to have the biggest kiss mark on the left side of his neck, too. Zaizen frowned and pulled his arm away, glaring up at his senpai just in time to notice a large portion of the locker room occupants already looking in their direction.

__Great._ _

__" _Those_ are hickeys," Zaizen shut his eyes and wished, not for the first time today, that he was somewhere far away from other people. Other people like Konjiki-senpai and his partner in life and crime, Hitoji-senpai. But, no matter how he was touted as a genius, Zaizen still hadn't mastered the art of disappearing. He started making a mental note to work on that before internally shuddering at the thought that the insanity inherent in his school was starting to infect him, as well._ _

__A headache started pounding behind his forehead as he tried to tune out Kintarou, who was squawking in the background and asking everyone who would listen if they knew what a hickey was. Well, Zaizen wasn't about to offer up any explanation. Hopefully, if he ignored the situation long enough, it'd be dropped from lack of interest._ _

__"They're cannibal bites."_ _

__Too bad the one to "come to his rescue" was Chitose-senpai. Zaizen stared in horror as Chitose proceeded to convince the impressionable first-year that someone had obviously attempted to _eat_ him. Zaizen turned to the person whose eating habits were currently under suspicion to find Kenya biting his lips, barely holding back his own laughter. With no allies to turn to, Zaizen settled for a final withering glance at his senpai that clearly said something along the lines of "You're going to get an earful for not giving me any back up later and don't you forget that," before turning back to Chitose to level a look that said "Stop now and maybe I won't hold it against you for the rest of your life, however long that might be," when he asked for confirmation for his ridiculous story._ _

__" _What_ is going on here?"_ _

__Finally! Zaizen welcomed the diversion his captain caused by breaking in on the conversation and hoped that he'd be able to get everyone else to see reason and just go play tennis already._ _

__"Somebody tried to _eat_ Zaizen! Zaizen got attacked by _cannibals_ , Shiraishi! Cannibals are _invading Japan_!"_ _

__"Don't be silly, Kin-chan." There, Zaizen almost breathed out a sigh of relief and felt his shoulders as the tension started to leave them. His buchou still had his priorities straight, at least._ _

__"It's nigh on impossible to invade Japan with the customs security you have to get through nowadays. I'm pretty sure that, even disregarding the airport security, they wouldn't make it past the in-flight meal provided for the trip. There's no cannibal option, after all."_ _

__This wasn't happening._ _

__"Now, because we obviously have no invasion to worry about, I fail to see the reason why everyone's still holed up inside. Out!" And with that, Shiraishi clapped his hands and pointed with his bandaged hand to the door, in case anyone had any confusion about what exactly he was telling them to do. Zaizen barely had any strength to pull himself through the door and walk to the courts. This one locker room conversation had sapped more energy from him than all the previous class periods of the whole day combined._ _

__He was just checking his sports watch to see how much longer this miserable school day had to last when Kintarou dropped the bomb._ _

__"Kenya's a _cannibal_!?"_ _

__That was it. Zaizen wasn't even certain if this day could actually be happening anymore. It felt like everyone just went stock-still as they attempted to process what exactly Kintarou had unwittingly revealed. He couldn't even find a suitable exclamatory denial to even try to combat the damage that the first-year had accidentally caused. And, though he was loath to admit it, Zaizen wasn't exactly sure how this was going to go over with his senpai. Well, he figured that there must have been a reason that they weren't telling people about whatever it was they were in together. This involuntary outing wasn't going to scare the other boy off... right?_ _

__Zaizen nearly jumped out of his skin at Kenya's loud bark of laughter. It was the sort of sound that one would expect to hear after holding in the urge to laugh for the better part of an hour, with maybe just a little bit of surprised relief mixed into the noise._ _

__"So _that's_ why you were hanging around Zaizen all the time! I thought you were just _friends_ —I didn't know you wanted him for _food_!"_ _

__Zaizen saw Kintarou's expression become more and more horrified as Kenya laughed in what he had to admit was a fairly evil manner. His senpai came up behind him and made to lean over his shoulder in a falsely intimidating gesture. Luckily for Zaizen, he'd long since gotten used to the other boy invading his space, though Kin-chan still pulled back out of unease._ _

__"Oh, you got me," Kenya smirked into his statement, lowering his eyelids, which Zaizen assumed was supposed to be alluring or something. Well, he supposed the other boy didn't exactly look bad with that expression, but still. It was the principle of the thing._ _

__Zaizen decided that he'd had enough of trying to fight the craziness of the day. Screw it. He just wanted to play some tennis. He muttered a slightly defeated, "Well, not like I can do anything about it."_ _

__"Hate to intrude in this lively conversation, but unless someone finds a way to set up a net between the trees and the walkway, this is not going to cut it as a tennis court." Uh oh, Shiraishi-buchou made another timely entrance, arms crossed and eyebrows cocked in a vaguely dangerous position._ _

__Buchou made them all run laps after that._ _


End file.
